3. Realize that you forgot to get dinner on the way in and scramble for something to settle the monster in your abdomen. Find a kind brother that had an extra Wendy's hamburger laying on his dashboard from the ride down.
4. Remember at 3:00 am that your drunk ass has forgotten to set up your tent
5. 4:00 AM. Pass out in a pile of broken tent poles and torn tent fabric
6. 5:00 AM. Awake to the horrifying sound of a large black bear rifling through your already fucked up tent looking for the day old Wendy's hamburger he smells that you left in your jacket pocket. Then your dumbass remembers that you were told not to sleep with food in your tent.
7. 5:15 AM. Change soiled britches.
SATURDAY OCTOBER 27TH
1. 8:00 AM to 10:00AM. Breakfast. Meal provided. Menu: Eggs, Sausage, Fruit, and oatmeal.
2. 10:00 AM to 11:00. Fix your fucked up tent with duct tape. Warn everybody about the bear.
3.11:00 AM to Noon. Meeting, Alumni Board Elections. Vote on various issues.
4. 12:30Watch football and get drunk
5. 1:00 Lunch. Meal to be provided. Menu: Cold cut sandwiches, hot dogs, chili.
6. 5:00 PM. Fuck with undergrads by tying then to trees and hanging garbage off of them to attract bears. Remind everybody to untie them later after they have sweated it out for a while.
7. 7:00 PM. Speeches. Awards Ceremony
8. 8:00 PM Dinner. Meal Provided. Menu: Lowcountry Barbeque. Pulled Pork. Barbecue Chicken for the Jews. Potato Salad, Cole Slaw, and lots of Baked Beans.
9. 9:00 Duplicate campfire scene from Blazing Saddles
9. 9:00 PM Get rrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal hammered
11. Midnight. Somebody realizes from the screaming coming out of the woods that we forgot about the undergrads. Pull the large Black Bear off of Jeff Gobin to find that the bear isn't attacking him, he is butt fucking him.
12. 12:30 AM. Hose Jeff off. Laugh our asses off until we pass out.
Sunday October 28th
Clean up once we are all able to move after being on a three day bender.
TEKETOBERFEST ATTENDEE REQUIREMENTS
Teketoberfest is going to be an outstanding event. This long overdue reunion is sure to be the party of the decade. We ask that everyone read the following requirements and comply with such requests in order to ensure the success of the event.
1. If you have not paid and have not confirmed your attendance please do no show up unannounced. We will not be able to accommodate you.
2. Everyone has to check in at the check in table on the shop porch and sign the Hold Harmless Agreement immediately upon arrival.
3. Report to Patrick Johnson, Mike Falato, or Sean Milligan for instructions on what to do with your vehicle and KEYS after you have unloaded. Some attendees will have to have their cars parked offsite because of limited space.
4. DO NOT BRING GLASS BOTTLES. Any glass bottles will be removed from premises. If you bring glass bottles of any kind and do not have CANNED beer or liquor in PLASTIC bottles then you will be without. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ADHERE TO THIS. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.
5. Smokers must bring something to keep butts in. This is a clean environment and littering of cigarette butts will not be tolerated on any level. This is a simple request and everyone's cooperation here is critical.
6. Do not throw beer cans away in anything other than the garbage cans provided. This includes the campfire. This is very important because the lawn will have to be restored where we have the fire.
7. All food waste has to be put in proper containers for immediate removal in order to mitigate bear issues.
8. All food that you bring must be in weatherproof container such as a cooler and stored in one central location. DO NOT KEEP FOOD IN YOUR TENT.
9. Always use the Porta Johns for all relief requirements. This is also critical. Children play in this environment everyday and we have to do an excellent job with this.
10. Everyone is expected to stay on Sunday morning until all cleanup is finished. Many hands make light work.
The organizers of this event want to thank everyone in advance for everyone's cooperation. Compliance with these requests is absolutely necessary and will ensure the success of the event.
TEKETOBERFEST PREPAREDNESS INFO
All members are expected to bring the following items. Failure to do so will result in a major burden and your necessities may not be accommodated. You MUST bring the following items.
THERE ARE NO STORES OR RESTAURANTS NEARBY. YOU MUST COME PREPARED
1.All beverages that you will require other than water for the entire weekend. This includes Alcohol, mixers, OJ/milk for breakfast, soft drinks etc.
ABSOLUTELY NO GLASS BOTTLES.
2. Some food. All snack food that you will require. Manley, WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR SNACKS. You will need to come on Friday having been fed or with food to eat for dinner. The ONLY meals that will be provided are Saturday morning breakfast, Saturday lunch, and Saturday dinner. So bring any food that you will want otherwise. Also remember that everyone will stay on Sunday to cleanup until finished so a powerbar would not be a bad idea.
3.Coolers. You will be responsible for bringing the above items in a cooler ON ICE. We will make an ice run when needed.
4.All habits and medicine. Chew, smoke, BC powder, prescription meds, hemorrhoid crème etc. You will not be able to run to the store to pick up a can of dip at here like you do at home. If you show up without then you do without. Do you remember the part about no store? Read it again to make sure you understand.
A. You will need a tent. There are 2 buildings that could accommodate about 10 people. These are available on a first come first serve basis. Blythewood is already living in one of them.
B. Bring a WARM sleeping bag. Late October in the mountains will be cold.
C. You must bring a flashlight and if you have a lantern please bring it with plenty of fuel.
D. We will also need fire starter. Everybody needs to bring some way of starting a fire. I suggest a Dura flame log or something like that.
6. Clothes. Warm ones - especially to sleep in. This includes a warm hat. Bring a raincoat just in case.
7.Trash bags. All garbage we generate will have to be removed immediately because of the black bear issue. Please bring a small roll of trash bags for your garbage.
8.Toilet paper. This should be self explanatory.
9. A chair to sit your ass in and a cot or sleeping pad to lay your drunk ass on.
10. If you have one of those pop up canopies like people use at tailgate events please bring it. We will have some shelter from possible rain but extra won't hurt.
PLEASE REMEMBER, IF YOU SHOW UP WITHOUT THESE ITEMS YOU WILL DO WITHOUT THESE ITEMS